


A New Dream

by funnygirlthatbelle13



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Doubt, F/M, Just some tender reassurances, Pining, Spoilers for c2e102
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25344115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funnygirlthatbelle13/pseuds/funnygirlthatbelle13
Summary: POST EPISODE 102:Jester worries that the group, and Caleb in particular, is sacrificing too much for the sake of Travelercon. Caleb does what he can to ease her mind.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre & Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 16
Kudos: 103





	A New Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! So last night’s episode was crazy so I had to get some of my feelings onto paper... or screen, I guess.

Caleb stared out into the dark jungles of Rumblecusp, watching for any sign of change. None. But that did nothing to stop his heart from racing as fast as his thoughts. 

Imagine your mind is a river, Beauregard had instructed during their guided meditation in the swamp, and things are getting rocky so the river is getting thinner and thinner. It doesn’t have it die down entirely; just enough so that you can hear the rest of the forest.

He tried to focus in on his breathing, to hear the forest instead of the grand river rapid of his mind. 

The sound of the rest of his friend’s fast asleep echoed around him. After Caduceus successfully restored Vilya’s memories, there had been some excitement before the adrenaline crash left them all fast asleep.

Except for him, of course, though not from a lack of trying. But there was far too much noise in his head for him to even think of falling asleep.

Without thought, his hand slipped under his shirt and he felt his own sweaty chest. His heart was still pounding even now, and even though he had yet to even take off his jacket, he felt naked. A phantom weight seemed to hang around his neck, somehow far heavier than the real amulet he had worn for so long.

“Caleb?”

Though he immediately recognized the voice, he turned to see Jester sitting up in her bedroll watching him. She looked much closer to her regular shade of blue, he noted, not sick at all anymore. Not that he had ever doubted Fjord’s abilities, but…

“Jester,” he said, though it felt less like a breath than an exhale, “Y-you should go to sleep. We have a convention to plan in the morning.”

She frowned for a moment before it shifted from sadness to concern.

“You gave up your amulet,” she mumbled, staring down at the ground.

He nodded, his throat too tight to speak. 

“Everybody gave up some pretty special stuff,” she muttered, “But that was keeping you safe.”

Ah, there it was. He had grown so accustomed to guilt that it took but a moment for him to recognize it on someone else. 

“It wasn’t really doing much,” he reminded her, “Since they could just scry on any of you.” 

But even as he tried to assure her, his hand reached for the familiar chain and pendant. 

Jester noticed. Of course she did. She was far more perceptive than most people gave her credit for. He fought against the currents of his mind to let one coherent thought take the lead.

“I-it was for your dream, though. We will make it work.” 

That did not seem to make her feel better, as Jester simply continued to stare at the ground, frowning. 

“Yeah, but… what if my dream doesn’t work out the way I thought it would? What if Vokodo makes a big stink or we have to give up more treasures or no one shows up or the Traveler has some secret evil plan and it turns out that I wasted my dream on something that only hurt people?”

Caleb stared at her, emotions rising in his chest against his own will. But he was helpless to prevent it. He paused for a moment, carefully constructing his words before speaking.

“Then you get to find a new dream. We… there is more than one wonderful thing that happens in each of our lives. And some of our dreams come true and some do not, but… that amulet… I killed a man for it, when I had a different dream. For a long time, I thought that was the only way to make up for what I had done. But I realized that that dream was selfish. It would only hurt those I lo-care about. So I am working on finding a new dream.”

No more children on the pyre, he thought, although a tendril of something sweeter made its way through him as he watched her nod. 

“Dream a better dream,” she mumbled, “I… I think I can do that.”

There was a small spark visible in her, though she still seemed so nervous. Without his approval, his hand reached out to her as he watched as if time was slowing down as he took her hand.

“There is plenty of time for another dream,” he assured her, “But… why don’t we focus on making this one as good as it can be, ja?”

Jester’s eyes were shiny as she looked up at him.

“Ja,” she whispered back, squeezing his hand tightly. But despite her strength, he did not feel hurt, only the sensation of his heart leaping around in his chest. 

Maybe… after this dream… maybe… 

“Thank you, Caleb,” Jester all but whispered.

He nodded, letting go of her hand.

“O-of course,” he mumbled, “W-I owe you so much. It is the least I can do.”

Jester eyed him strangely, but whatever it was did not seem important enough to warrant saying as she simply glanced around the jungle and sighed. 

“We should get some rest,” he suggested.

Jester nodded.

“There’s so much to do.”

He nodded back.

“Leave every place better than you found it,” he repeated Molly’s old mantra. 

“And dream a new dream once you have.”

They stared at each other for a moment, and Caleb could hardly process the surge of emotions coursing through him.

“Goodnight, Caleb,” she said.

“Goodnight, Jester,” he whispered, trying to soak those two words with all the emotions that he had as he lay down, listening to the sound of the others adjusting in their sleep to make room for him.

His mind was still a coursing river. There was no doubt about it. But the currents did not pound against the rocks the same way as before, and Caleb finally fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! If you did, maybe tell me?


End file.
